Sassafrass

Dear friends and readers, and random Googlers,

I have decided to end this blog. Originally I meant it to serve as an aid for people who were trying to navigate between the British and US law application systems. I wanted to talk about an unusual situation which others might encounter and try to give people an idea of what the other side was like. Now that I'm in law school, I feel I have nothing unique to add to the already rich law student blogosphere. I've taken more advice from it than I've put in and most of my advice echos what has come before. I have also realized that internet anonymity is very fragile and I have to serve my career first and my online persona... somewhere much further down the list of my personal priorities. As much as I have enjoyed keeping a record of my experience, I can do that just as well without publishing it publicly. There is one last post I am going to make about the British applications process, a post I have been meaning to finish and put up for some time. That will be my last word here. Lots of luck and happiness to you all.

Eunomia Horae

OL Crazy and Mandatory Volunteerism

It's only 1.5 days until the star of my law school career and I am putting everything in order so that I can be ready to study with minimal drama and distraction. Almost everything is in place, except for minor, completely unimportant things like my health insurance. I've realized through this preparation that I am maybe a tiny bit obsessive (but not always compulsive).

I have bought some new clothes in all neutral colors so that they can all go together and so that I do not display any unseemly personality, god forbid. Orientation starts with a cookout, which I am dreading. I am dreading trying to make friends in a big group of people I don't know. I am horrified at the thought of actually SPEAKING to professors outside of class! And I am terrified of having to attempt to eat and talk at the same time. How does anyone manage this without looking like a gaping idiot, or dribble food down your front, or ending up with green stuff in your teeth? This is all starting to sound a little crazy.

I read a horror story somewhere (I can't remember where) about a 1L student dropping a whole PLATE full of food on a professor's clothes. I do not have the greatest track record of being impressive and poised in front of people I actually want to impress, so I am actually kind of worried about this. I think the only solution is to not eat at this thing. I'll be too nervous and I am actually just scared to look stupid and embarrass myself on the first day of law school. Call me whatever names you wish. I may turn out to be this person.

I'm also being pretty obsessive about my work space. I'm trying to keep as many potentially distracting items off my desk as possible. Smart, right? My desk (from IKEA, but I love it) is about 2000 square feet of empty real estate and it's kind of cold most of the time. When I start working, though, I have a system and my desk ends up being completely cluttered by all the things I need to have within a hand's reach while I'm studying. And everything needs to be in its proper place. My pencil case must be open and placed on the top right corner of the desk. I need three items--a pen, a highlighter and pad of post-it notes--to my immediate right. My subject binder must be open to the syllabus and placed in the top left hand corner of the desk. My planner must be opened and place just below the binder. My computer, if I am using it must be directly in front of me and slightly more than halfway up the desk. The desk lamp(s) must be placed at a 45 degree angle, pointing directly at my work. Obviously this means my things are sprawled all over the place, which makes my husband nervous because he only has one desk at his place. I imagine he wants to be the one to use it.

I've also been a little obsessive about my study statistics ever since I started reading for my intro class at the beginning of the week. I set myself a number of pages per day and I've been keeping track of how much time it takes me to read them, including how much time I spend faffing. Faffing is a fantastic British word for procrastinating and otherwise wasting time. I have a little three-channel timer and I kept track of things down to the minute. The first day I was reading, I read at the rate of 11 minutes per page--awful! I think that was mostly attributable to excessive amounts of faff. About 30% of my time spent 'working' was actually just faffing. Not good. However, by Friday I took only 3 minutes per page, and spent only 10% of my time faffing, so I'd say that's some good improvement. Did I understand much of what I was reading? Well, I certainly didn't learn it. I think that will require a second reading and some note taking. I have no idea how I'm supposed to do this in the number of hours available in the day!

Finally, one last piece of law school crazy. The 1Ls are going to spend one afternoon of the orientation doing a community volunteering project. I got a list of all the possible assignments, which included volunteering at the public library, etc, generally indoor things. Me? I'm going to be doing trail maintenance at a local park. I generally don't do outdoors in the summer, but come orientation, I will be hot and sweaty, maintaining some trails with 40 other 1Ls and the Dean of Admissions. Voluntarily.

Admin Ladies

Why are admin ladies at universities so bitchy!? And totally unhelpful? I mean, I know they must get a million stupid calls and emails from self-important, entitled students every day, but seriously--they're not nice. Why is that? Do they hate their jobs?

In more upbeat news, a good friend of mine is going to apply to go to law school and she wants to practice immigration law. She lives in Arizona--chronically screwed up Arizona. I'm going to keep up my boycott of Coldstone Creamery no matter how delicious and creamy it is.

What's Next

As my favorite TV president, Jed Bartlett, would say, ‘What’s next?’

I got a big packet today of law things including my first semester schedule, and my reading syllubus for orientation. We’re taking a short introduction to law class during orientation week and then... we have to take an exam at the end of it! What the hell is this? It’s August and I’m already taking a law exam???!!! Now that I know I’m actually still going to law school, all this stuff is starting to make me nervous. Still, I was looking at that syllabus, which including such topic headings as stare decisis and retroactivity, and I was getting really excited. That’s a good sign, isn’t it?

Now I’ve got a series of posts to write and publish which will be coming soon, and which I will hopefully finish before the real work of law school starts.

I’m so fricking happy I’m still a law student.

My Living Nightmare

I have been living out a nightmare for the last few days. Has anyone had a nightmare that you were accepted to law school, but you are then told by the dean that, because you forgot to do some fiddly little insignificant thing, your admission has been revoked and you’re not going to law school?

I guess things have just been going too freaking well for me then, because THIS IS WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!!

I came home from several weeks of traveling to find a letter from the University of Pomorum saying they never received my deposit payment of $250 and assumed that I had made other plans and consequently my admission had been cancelled.

It was after office hours, so I sent an email to the admissions office. I spent the rest of the night in a tearing blind panic, waiting for the admissions office to open the next morning so I could call and explain what happened and try to work it out so that I could be readmitted.

What happened was that I definitely went onto the online system and paid the deposit. In fact I paid the whole deposit of $400 at once rather than waiting to pay incrementally. The Economist was there the whole time I made the payment and recalled my doing it as well because he fed me our bank account numbers. I did it through our online school forum (most schools have something similar). But for some reason, the payment did not go through and I never noticed that the money did not leave my bank account. (This is because only my husband has online access to our banking—which is completely foolish because you should never leave only one person in charge of two peoples’ finances.) Around the same time I also submitted a transcript request. This request too apparently did not ever go through. I never received any confirmation that the payment had gone through, nor did I receive any indication that the payment had failed. I kept receiving things from the Pomorum Law School (PLS) including that request for transcripts. I sent one from undergrad off of the online forum, the one that never went through, and one from my London Master’s University, via paper request. I had no idea whatsoever why the payment had not gone through.

I called the minute the office was open the next morning and explained what happened. The lady seemed to think there was nothing to be done about it! She was so desperately unhelpful and unsympathetic; she did not seem to understand that this was KIND OF IMPORTANT to me.

Finally she said what I could do was write a letter explaining what happened and see if the admissions committee would change their mind. After I got off the phone with her, I called all the IT people at the U of P, billing and admissions, and could produce no evidence that I had attempted to make that payment in the first place. I started working on my letter to the admissions committee and waiting for The Economist to come home from a doctor’s appointment he had that morning. When he got back, I had to explain the situation to him out loud. I think this was probably the lowest moment I have experienced in a long time and I just lost it for a while. Then I pulled myself together, wrote the damn letter and emailed it in. I also consulted the U of P law professor with whom I had spoken some time before. He was very encouraging, saying that he would be very surprised indeed if the committee allowed this sort of mistake to be the basis for rejecting an admitted student. But, he said, he really had no idea how this process worked. He said I should write the letter and hand deliver it to both the admin lady and the Dean of Admissions, along with a check for the full amount of the deposit.

I wrote, frankly, a stellar letter outlining what happened. I emphasized that I thought I had done the necessary action and although I could not explain why the payment had not gone through, in every other respect, I had been planning and intending to attend the PLS in the fall, including moving back to the United States, passing up other opportunities in the UK, submitting transcripts as requested even after the payment was due, and otherwise completely rearranging me and my husband’s lives in order to go to this school. I felt I laid everything out there, made a strong argument and could add nothing else. All I could do was hope the committee believed me.

The Economist and I delivered the letter by hand, almost getting into an accident on the way, we were both so distracted. When I got to the office, I had already put the check into the envelope I was delivering to the Dean of Admissions. I had hoped to be able to talk to him about it—‘bring it to his attention’ as they say—unfortunately he was not in and would not be back until next Monday. So I spoke to the admin lady, who seemed almost angry that I had chosen to hand deliver the letters, and to give a copy to the Dean of Admissions. She did not want me to give him the check either, so I had to take it out of the envelope. I was really worried about not including the check so I tried to sneak it back in, but she caught me. Oh well, I tried. Anyway, I left it in her hands and walked out feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. The problem was that I felt I had not done anything wrong but I couldn’t prove it. I also felt stupid about the fact that, if I was not readmitted, I would just reapply next year, they’d probably accept me, and I’d start the following fall, having wasted another year doing nothing, all because of a stupid mistake I didn’t really make.

After that, The Economist and I didn’t really know what to do with ourselves. We had meant to spend part of the day in our favorite coffee shop, reading and working on things. But we weren’t settled enough in our minds to do that. There were all kinds of things we needed to do to prepare for law school and grad school, but I didn’t want to do any of it until we knew one way or the other what was going to happen. I’m not the kind of person who can just go on faith that the right outcome will just happen.

We went to my future grocery store to look around and see if the things we’ve gotten used to eating in Britain were available in the US. Then we went to The Economist’s grandma’s house to drop off some Baileys Truffles we bought in Ireland for her husband who is undergoing chemotherapy and radiation therapy for the second time. That put things sharply in perspective. TE and I are young, healthy and we have each other through thick and thin. I knew then that I could handle the worst case scenario of having the wait until next year. It would be awful, but there are worse things in this world and talking to TE’s saint-like grandma made me realize that.

We were supposed to leave the next day to visit my brother-in-law, a 5-hour drive away, and we briefly considered not going in case the PLS needed me for anything but we decided since the Dean of Admissions was gone until Monday, we couldn’t expect to hear anything (and the admin lady said next week was the earliest we could expect to hear anything) so we decided to go anyway and try to enjoy ourselves.

It was unbelievably painful to have to explain the situation to everyone we encountered who asked about my plans or when I started at school. I felt anxious all the time. I tried to think about it as little as possible.

On the drive down, we were relayed a message via TE’s family that the admin lady had called, but again it was out of office hours, so I had to wait over an agonizingly anxious night to call.

In the morning I did call. She told me that the IT people had confirmed that I had signed onto the forum system on the date I said I did and that I was being readmitted.

...

...

...

After the last four years, and especially the last one year, I did not need this one more roller coaster ride. I was not even as relieved to be readmitted as I thought I should be because I always felt I had done nothing wrong in the first place. And it completely killed any thrill I had felt about being back home because of the pulse-quickening anxiety I felt every time I thought about it.

If I believed in an intelligent omniscient and omnipotent creator, I’d say that creator wanted to make me to really, really, REALLY appreciate my acceptance to law school.

I know there are more lessons here but I need some time to process this.

Also, I know for sure that I've been admitted because I now have a $12,000 university bill.

Leaving London

We are leaving London tomorrow. I have been ambivalent and unemotional about it until tonight when we had farewell drinks with some close friends. Saying goodbye was not hard because I had it in my head that I was just going home and I'd probably see them again soon--we'd meet up at a pub for the next big World Cup match or something. We took a taxi home and, watching the places where I lived my life for the last three years, I began to feel sad that these fond memories and this 'love of place' I seem to have developed would start to fade the minute I left London behind.

Then for some reason I began to think about those ads all over London about how you shouldn't take an unlicensed taxi cab or you might end up being robbed, raped or murdered. I looked at the none-too-friendly cab driver and briefly thought, 'We'll be lucky to get out of London alive!' And then realized I was probably doing what I have been doing--avoiding my real feelings about leaving. I have been really unhappy in London and really desperate to get back to the States, but now that I know I'm going to law school, I realize I was unhappy with my situation rather than my location. London is a pretty rad place. I'm really glad I had the opportunity to live here.

The significance of this move has also begun to dawn on me. There is a line (is it Ecclesiastes?) about putting childish things behind you. I think I've come to that moment in my life. I think I have finally become an adult (or at least, have got my foot firmly planted in adult territory) after spending all my childhood trying to be one. I think I've also realized now that I was not seeking adulthood--I was seeking liberty and independence, the freedom to do what I wanted, as I wanted. Now, as I think about what my life will be for the next three years and all the years that follow, I am grieving a little bit for that freedom of youth that comes with little responsibility. I think I will probably look back and think of these London years as some of the best of my life.

The 5-step method to calm yourself down

I like relaxation mechanisms for when you face a moment of intense stress/confusion/frustration. I really like JE's 5-step method for calming yourself down when something happens that sets you atwitter. It's fairly similar to what I do, but more rigorous and more results-oriented.

Anonymity: Busted

It looks like I Don't Wear Skinny Jeans' anonymity has been busted... or slowly leeched out. He did give the little detail of exactly which law school he goes to, and from there it must be pretty easy for the blogosphere to identify you. Especially when so many people read you (clearly not a problem for me).

The Isle of Skye, Scotland: A Photo Essay

The Isle of Skye is AMAZING.

Skye spits waterfalls...

...farts rainbows...

...and generally craps awesomeness.

There is no news!

Haven't heard anything from Cambridge. My life is in limbo!!!

Bits and Pieces

Hey ya'll I just wanted to say thanks for the comments by DA and by Alistair, I appreciate your support on my disappointment about Oxbridge. I still have a second shot but not too hopeful. Anyway, no need to dwell!

DA, to answer your other question. Was I ever serious about applying to King's College London, University College London or the London School of Economics? In truth, no, I wasn't interested when I first applied, but it was a matter of dragging and clicking boxes on a screen, so I did it. I also thought I was testing the waters as a precursor for Oxbridge admissions, but in fact the Oxbridge admissions period is almost over and I have heard next to nothing in the meantime from the other three. They have each confirmed receipt of my application and I have responded to their various requests for transcripts (by the way, transcripts are expensive!). Now that the Oxbridge admissions period is over, and I'm also doing my American applications, I'm beginning to get really nervous that I won't get into my preferred American law school at my Midwest State School alma mater. The application numbers have been massive this year and--looking at the calendar--I am submitting my applications much later than I should have done. These nerves make the potential of getting into the other three British schools much more important to me, as I don't want to delay law school another year. It's a sensitive and difficult thing, the admissions process.

DA, I'm glad to hear you've got through the UCAS and the LNAT. How did the LNAT go?

Anyway, speaking of my Midwest State School. I have had a strangely fateful and luck-driven life so far. I don't believe in fate or luck in my rational mind, but I cannot deny my life has been filled with some strange coincidences and connections, not all of them necessarily good. This requires a bit of background. When I was a child, my family and I did not live in my Midwest State but were driving through it when we were in a car accident in which my father died. As a result of this accident the rest of my family moved to this Midwest State permanently. I then grew up and went to school in this state. I met my husband in high school in this state. My husband brought me to Britain where I refined and clarified my career goals, to be a lawyer.

Now, going back to my Midwest State School's college of law. It has become my first choice, until I hear finally from Cambridge. I began to really worry that I would not qualify as a resident to get in-state tuition anymore, which would change my view of things considerably. As I read the university policy online, I didn't completely understand it so I called the registrar's office to run the situation by them. I grew up in my Midwest State and did my undergrad there, as a resident. However for the last 5 years I have been living out of the state--would I still be considered a resident for tuition purposes? The lady had the strangest attitude about it. She said the only important criteria were:

Did I graduate from a high school in this Midwest State? Yes. And do I have one parent living or buried in the state? At first I panicked because my mom moved out of the state a few years ago. Then I remembered, wait, my father is indeed buried in the state. So, yeah, I guess as a result of this totally random, accidental car accident I get in-state tuition at this Midwest State School.

Okay, now I've totally creeped everyone out. It's cool, people, but like I said my life has been filled with weird, serendipitous coincidences and connections. Honestly, I tentatively hope they don't stop now.

Interviews, Christmas and More

I am now at home in my Hometown in my Home Midwest State. We have been enjoying a pretty fat Christmas. I have a new netbook which I'm writing on. I have a few things to write about, including my interviews. If I were a really generous, self-less person I would post every single last detail about my two interviews at Cambridge and Oxford. (It is rare for one person to be interviewed by both.) I'm not going to do that. I may talk about it more later, but right now I'm going to be circumspect about the whole thing. One thing I can say is that this is a once in a lifetime experience and it somewhat defies description.

In other news, commenter DA has gotten back to me and asked a few more questions, which I am happy to answer. I'm really pleased he's been following my blog and am delighted with the power of this series of tubes.

I'll answer his questions now.

Where did I apply for schools in the UK?

I applied to Cambridge, Oxford, University College London, The London School of Economics and King's College London. I am most interested in Cambridge and Oxford, though, depending on what happens I'm open to them all. I am not currently on a course. I have interviewed at Cambridge and Oxford.

And this question about the UCAS application: UCAS has no area I can see under qualifications for my degree (Bacc - United States), what did you put on yours?

I had this problem as well and rang the UCAS helpline to ask what to do. They are very helpful. You need to put your qualification under 'degree'.

And... any last advice?

Nothing specific. Relax, have fun, be yourself.

Getting back to the Cambridge and Oxford interviews. They will have made their decisions by now and it is very likely that sitting on the doorstep of my flat in London right now are two letters one from each indicating my acceptance or rejection. This is somewhat distressing. But I'm going back in a few days and will find out which it is.

I have nothing more to report now except I'm having a lovely holiday at home.

Damn it I'm sick

Damn it, I'm supposed to go down to Cambridge tomorrow for my interview the next day and I have a bloody cold and a fever, possibly the flu, possibly H1N1 flu. I'm trying to take it easy, drink lots of fluids and rest, but I'm supposed to be studying for these interviews right now.

I don't know what the deal is with Britain but I have never been sick so frequently in my life as I have been ever since moving here. I just got over the worst cold of my life a few weeks ago but here I am again. Hopefully it won't last two weeks like the last one did. Gaaaaahh!

Random Ha Ha

I saw that someone found my website by googling "lsat tomorrow help". Ha ha, you're effed.

Kerfuffle

Oh. Dear. God.

I already submitted all my applications to British schools and thought all the details were correct. But then I got a paper copy of my Advanced Placement scores and found out I reported one of them wrong on my applications. I said I got a 5 but I got a 4!!!!! Oh mediocrity.

I had not thought about these scores for 8 years since I took the exams. 8 YEARS FOLKS. Yes I am old.

The only thing I could do is email each university I applied for and ask them to correct the mistake which has meant they attach a 'note' to my application. This is going to look awful. And now they want to have a copy of my AP score report. Each report is $25. Apps are expensive.

You Heard It Here First!

You heard it here first: the sixth season of The Office sucks. Even worse than the last two seasons. Someone had to say it.

Back

Alas, dear readers, I have been stressed out and busy. LSAT study, job applications, law school applications. Okay, I've also been on holiday. I'm not too terribly concerned about neglecting you because as far as I know, 'you' and 'readers' include only my Husband.